Why don’t you ask God for a husband?

I had decided to take my book Single: the art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent ( a book I highly recommend to all single girls) to lunch one day. But then a co-worker found us so I invited her to join us. First thing she does is pick up my companion.

‘Why are you reading this?”
“Well, the title says it all.”
“Yes, I can see that, but, why? So you don’t want a man in your life?”
“I never said so. But let’s say I feel ok with or without a guy.”
“But then, if you feel ok with a guy, why don’t you look for one, then?”
“I just told you.”

read the whole post at dazzlinglysingle.com

What's wrong with you?

Back to my wonderful friends. John is a happily married guy who really hopes I discover the same indescribable bliss soon. And he does his best to help me out. Except that his efforts never amount to much.

Here is a snapshot of one of our conversations:

John: “You know what, Richard and I were talking about you lately. He’s a bit shy- that’s why he hasn’t told you anything yet, but he really likes you and would like to go out with you.”
Me:”Is that so?”
John:” Yes. You don’t know him as well as I do, but I can say that he’s a great guy and his intentions are serious- he’s even thinking about marriage.”
Me: “I see. Well, I really appreciate his feelings for me and your telling me this. I think he is indeed a great guy, but we’d better say friends.”
John:”But why? As I said, his intentions are good ones.”
Me:"Yes, I understand, and I’m glad to hear that. But, to be honest, I’m fine.”
John:”Why don’t you at least give it a try? I’m sure you two guys could make it work. You won’t know if you don’t try.”
Me:”I guess I won’t, but I still don’t think I’ll try. Thanks anyway.”
John:”What’s wrong with you?”

You can read the rest of the story at Dazzlingly Single

Happy for no reason

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. –Mahatma Gandhi

It’s funny how just one sentence can change your perspective. I’m usually an upbeat person, but I do get grouchy sometimes, especially when I have to go to work at 4:00 am. Then about a couple of months ago I was shopping on amazon.com when I stumbled on the book Happy for no reason, by Marci Shimoff. It stopped me in my tracks for a while and I thought 'hey, this is a great title!' I don’t need a reason to be happy, do I? Why can’t I just decide to smile and see the bright side in all things?

So the other day I was assisting a customer (around 6:00 am), in my new happy-for-no-reason state and she said: ‘You are so upbeat. It’s pretty early to be so happy’. ‘It’s all a state of mind’, I replied, still smiling. ‘It doesn’t depend on the hour’.

I guess the answer satisfied her. She left smiling too.

Reality TV

As I watched the Bachelor’s finale last night, my heart went out to Molly first then Melissa when Jason dumped her six weeks later. Both girls’ love for Jason was real. But I couldn’t help frowning a bit when Melissa mentioned that she sees her future with Jason as one of complete happiness. I would have rephrased that as ‘more happiness’ because her happiness really depends on her and not on Jason . You should be happy on your own, with or without a partner. That’s our ultimate goal.

Thanks God there is more than reality TV out there – which keeps sending the message that we need to be coupled to be happy. There are plenty of networks and blogs for singles that will remind us we can have the same brilliant face these girls had last night – with or without a partner.

Proud

I have some wonderful friends. They care a lot about me and my marital status (sometimes they care more about my marital status than about me). They’re always trying to introduce me to someone because, well, I’m almost 30 and still single and ‘it’s just not right’. I mean, they’re deaf to the fact that I’m fine by myself and believe they should get me hitched by all means. I know they’re seriously concerned and are always wondering what’s wrong with me and why can’t I just find and keep a man. So when I tell them I’m proud of being a single woman, they give me that ‘is she ok’ look and wonder whether I had gone crazy or am just resigned? And then they’ll give me a good piece of advice along the lines of there is no need to despair and it’s too early and I will find someone if I just keep looking.

I don’t mind them, though. They’re very nice people and I know they love me a lot. We just don’t see things the same way. But I do mean it when I say I’m proud of being on my own. Conquering daily life alone is no easy task. And anyone who can do so should be proud of himself/herself. Really. There are so many things we take for granted that we should be in fact celebrating. People who have a significant other usually have someone to turn to when they have a problem or when the load if too much to bear. We don’t. Most of the times we have to figure it out on our own and rely on our own selves. Isn’t that something to be delighted about?

Forget about friends and family who are trying to put you down, even if it’s unintentionally. The simple fact that you can manage living with them while still sticking to your ideas and values is a sign of maturity and strength. Start giving yourself the credit you deserve today. Be proud of being single. A ring on your finger or someone sleeping next to you in the bed does not define who you are.